


"Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here,"

by Inactive Account (sassybleu)



Series: Home Again and Gone [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comforting John, Depression, M/M, PTSD Sherlock, Patient John, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 16:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1947573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassybleu/pseuds/Inactive%20Account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's bag was under the bed, packed and ready to go. He spends his last night with his mad genius, holding him in his arms, putting off the inevitable dread that will come with his leave tomorrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here,"

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the song "Tomorrow" by Chris Young. If you haven't heard it, I strongly suggest you listen to it before you read this fic, it'll make much more sense that way.

_Tomorrow I'm gonna leave here_  
_I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would_  
_And tomorrow, I'm gonna listen_  
_To that voice of reason inside my head telling me that we're no good_

     John and Sherlock were in love. It had all progressed over the span of the years; the most progress made after Sherlock’s fall, before he came back. Sherlock came back a new man however. He’d changed after his war. Sherlock was more insufferable than ever when it came to boredom; his thoughts didn’t just stop at shooting the wall anymore though. Sherlock often thought about shooting himself, not necessarily to die, but to experience a gunshot wound. Sherlock was also paranoid. Years of living undercover and in secrecy had not left him behind; this often led to fits of hyperactive-paranoid hallucinations. John had diagnosed him with PTSD, but Sherlock refused to go along with it.

     Sherlock was even worse to John. He could be the most tender, loving man one moment, and then treat John as he did Mycroft the next. He’d never been in a relationship before, but he’d theorized that this was his coping mechanism. Sherlock’s fears and insecurities did not lie forgotten in the corner. John loved Sherlock; he didn’t know why, but he did. John was as patient as he could be with the detective. Always trying to reassure the man and hold him close, so as to protect him. John loved Sherlock with all his heart, and Sherlock did the same.

_But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time_  
_Rock you strong in these arms of mine_  
_Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow_  
_We're like fire and gasoline_  
_I'm no good for you_  
_You're no good for me_  
_We only bring each other tears and sorrow_  
_But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow_

     Unfortunately, love isn’t always enough. Maybe before The Fall, Sherlock could have loved John as deeply as he wanted to; but since his time then, he was simply too removed to do it. He tried, god help him he did, but it wasn’t enough. John was hurt all the time. No matter how much he tried, the detective couldn’t be doctored, which broke the man’s heart. He’d thought about it for a while. He didn’t want to; he knew he’d be breaking his own heart in the process, but surely that had to be better than having it broken by Sherlock? Sherlock had no idea. Somehow John had managed to keep it from the man.

_Tomorrow I'll be stronger_  
_I'm not gonna break down and call you up when my heart cries out for you_  
_And tomorrow, you won't believe it,_  
_But when I pass your house,_  
_I won't stop no matter how bad I want to_

     John lay there in bed on his back, while Sherlock’s head was lying on his chest. The brunet had long ago fallen asleep, but John couldn’t. He knew what was coming tomorrow. His bag sat packed under the bed, and his travel arrangements had already been planned out. There he was, lying there with the man he loved more than anything in the world; and he could feel his heart aching already. He tightened his arms around the taller man, wishing he’d never have to let go, but knowing that he’d have to, sooner rather than later.

_But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time_  
_Rock you strong in these arms of mine_  
_Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow_  
_We're like fire and gasoline_  
_I'm no good for you_  
_You're no good for me_  
_We only bring each other tears and sorrow_  
_But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow_  
  
_Baby when we're good, you know we're great_  
_But there's too much bad for us to think that there's anything worth trying to save_

     John woke early the next morning; he knew he had to leave early. He knew that if Sherlock asked him to, he’d stay. John grabbed his already-packed back, and then began to pack the rest of his things he’d left out so as not to make Sherlock suspicious. As he packed, tears silently made their tracks across his face; each one holding a memory of their love, or a thought about what they love about their detective. In the back of his mind, something he didn’t want to think about was the thought that maybe Sherlock would change when he left. That maybe one day he could come back; come _home_ to _his_ detective, not the man that had come back from The Fall. He knew that the thought would only make the pain worse, so he tried to push it away; failing miserably.

     He picked up his bags and set them by the door. He went back looked at the unsuspecting man in the bed, and quietly walked over, dropping his note on his pillow. He bent over and placed a kiss to Sherlock’s temple, leaving a few tears in company. He silently walked back to the door, grabbed his bags, and walked out.

_But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time_  
_Rock you strong in these arms of mine_  
_Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow_  
_We're like fire and gasoline_  
_I'm no good for you_  
_You're no good for me_  
_We only bring each other tears and sorrow_  
_But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow_  
  
_Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here_  
_I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> Did I break your heart? I know I broke mine.
> 
> 4/13/15: Please do not duplicate or post this content elsewhere without consent.


End file.
